Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dear Good Guy, I Know You're Out There

This week has been a long week, full of me being exhausted, dizzy and sick.  But, in spite of all of this, I realized just how wonderful the guys in my life are.  The are such a HUGE blessing to me and I am so thankful that they are part of my life.
For starters, my dad sent me flowers and a cute monkey for Valentine's day and my friend David gave me Conversation Hearts.  Now that may not seem like a lot, but, I came home from a rough morning of classes only to find flowers at my door from my wonderful dad.  Also, Conversation Hearts are my FAVORITE thing about Valentine's day.  Usually my mom or my sister will give me a box on Valentine's day so I was sort of sad that I wasn't going to be getting a box from anyone but then Heather came home from class and threw a box of them at me and said they were from David.

Also, when I was sick towards the end of the week Jordan came over and hung out and talked to me for a bit.  It was nice to have human contact after being dead on the couch for a day and a half.

And last but not least, my guy friends all helped me with my Relief Society lesson today.  Part of it was on modesty so I asked a handful of guys that I knew pretty well what their thoughts on girls and modesty were.  Here are their responses:
  • Modesty is good.   If I have to concentrate on fighting temptation, I won’t be able to focus on you.  There should not be any reason for immodesty.
  • Immodesty makes me uncomfortable.  It makes me feel like someone would rather take my attention away from their personality.
  • Modest is hottest :) I personally love it.  Girls always look way better when they are modest. 
  • Immodesty is a big turn off.  Really.  When I see a girl who is immodestly dressed, I don’t really want to talk to her, because it is hard to view her as a daughter of God instead of something on a magazine cover.
  • I like girls that are modest, it shows me that respect themselves and those around them. It also shows me that they love the Lord and are faithful. These are two of the most important traits I want in my future wife.
  • I know modesty doesn't often seem fair.  For some reason, it doesn't come naturally to validate a modest girl.  I'm not sure I've ever gone up to a girl and said, "You know, I've noticed that all of your shorts are fingertip length.  That's awesome!"  particularly at the Y, where modesty is more of the norm than it is outside of Utah.  Meanwhile, I know that the girls that are compromising their wardrobes and pushing the limits a little bit are getting the crowds of boys around them and the turned heads.  I'd be lying if I said I was never in one of those groups.

    Despite how little glory there is right now in being modest, the relationships that I know stick (and are meant for all eternity) are those that rely on love and not lust.  Yes, you've all seen the girl in a tank top and boxer shorts who seem to have every boy hanging on her, but the truth is that the boys' attraction to her is only shallow, so any relationships she forms with them are shallow, too.

    Contrast that with the girl who sticks with modesty.  The boys she'll attract are those who the gospel matters to.  When it comes down to it, the righteous priesthood holders, those who are prepared to lead their families with you equally in the gospel, are looking for girls committed to gospel standards, and a powerful indicator of this is your personal modesty.  When your Captain Moroni comes along, he'll be looking to bring to the temple a woman who he loves emotionally and spiritually, not just physically.  And, if he's truly the spiritual giant you deserve, he'll only consider a woman who's completely modest.  When he doesn't have to worry about your hemlines, it becomes so much easier for him to learn two things.  First, he learns the attributes that make you beautiful eternally: your personality, your preparation for motherhood, your interests, your dreams.  Second, he learns his own responsibilities:  what you expect from him emotionally, as a father, and as an eternal companion.

    I know modesty's never been harder or seemed more unfair at times.  But sticking with it is the best way I know to invite the Lord in your life and, in the future, attract the man who's everything you deserve in a husband and father.

    Aren't guys just amazing?!? Thanks to all of the guys in my life.  Thank you for being who you are and thank you for everything you do for me.  I really do appreciate it :)

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